Adam, being a true gentleman, wanted his special lady Annie to have the final say on what the theme of their wedding would be. Adam is wise. Although he no doubt wanted a medieval, Game of Thrones, awesome broadsword-fest of a wedding, his wisdom advised him against provoking the wrath of a bride-to-be by dictating to Annie what she should do on a day that is typically such a massive deal to lady-folk.
Let it be known that I don’t normally use the term “lady-folk”, it just seemed appropriate to use it as it sounds like the parlance of medieval times. I digress…
Turns out Annie is awesome and also wanted a kick ass medieval, Game of Thrones, awesome broadsword-fest of a wedding. More on that later.
Before the wedding Adam needed to celebrate getting hitched to the girl that he is no doubt made for, by being as manly as possible. A fellowship of seven noblemen made their way into the Floridian wilderness for two nights and and two days of drinking, fighting, eating, fire building, tree chopping, hiking, crocodile infested water swimming, puking, masculine mayhem. We almost ran out of clean drinking water, it was extreme. But we survived. We are a band of brothers, bound together by the experience we shared in Myakka State Forest. Or whatever.
There was a wedding to arrange, so we thought it would be best to get back to civilisation. It looks like most of what we did to prepare involved sunglasses.
There follows a picture of a pretty okay location for a wedding.
What do you know about Doug tattoos?
The couple now known as Lord and Lady Berliner met many moons ago, when Annie the deer of house Troup pranced forth from Colorado towards the bear Adam, from house Berliner. They dated for a time, and things went so well that a matrimonial union of their houses struck them as an excellent idea. I was called on to be a groomsman, although the preferred term for this occasion was GROOM’S KNIGHT. We knights were furnished with fine blades, and stood with Adam during the service, ready to fight off any blaggard that dared oppose the proceedings. Nobody did dare, which is a relief because I didn’t want to have to kill a man. The ceremony went off without a hitch. We drank the king’s wine and also his beer. And ate his fine BBQ foods. And exquisite donuts. And danced and made merry. Pippin was there too.
Nine times out of ten themed weddings are totally cringeworthy, but the Deer and the Bear pulled it off. And I’m not just saying that because I got a sweet dagger and drinking horn out of it. I was there with my dagger, drinking the king’s spiced wine from my drinking horn and it just made sense. Adam and Annie had a wedding that truly portrayed their wonderful characters; characters which would have been compromised if things had gone down any other way.
HAIL HOUSE BERLINER!